spell out where you’re at

Traditional weddings are a lot of planning, stress, and drama. Whenever you have large numbers of people to organize, then you throw in personal bonds that may or may not be the most sturdy, and ideas of how perfect the day needs to be– it’s significantly stressful. However the most important part is the promises made.

That’s the meat of the event at the end of the day. People will leave the venue, the set up will be packed up, flowers will wilt, and family and friends will scatter back to their personal corners of the globe. The thing that lasts is the idea that, “I love you, and I am committed to you and this relationship”. In practice, maybe that idea isn’t meant or kept. But when we look at the ideal traditional wedding, the point is that this couple is being upfront about their feelings and intentions and promising to keep those intentions alive every day. No matter your romantic relationship status, we all can do with more honesty and love.

Promises and depth of connection don’t have to limited to romantic couples and special days. Each day, how we interact with those close to us is our way of speaking a promise to them. Maybe it’s, “School comes first, but I’ll help you after,” or “I like hanging out with you but I don’t trust you with my personal struggle” or any of a large number of things. We don’t have to be super close with a large number of people, it is difficult, exhausting, and has little benefit. What we can do, however, is look at those people who are close, or who we want to be close with. We can decide to actively be honest and loving to them because they are special to us. By reminding ourselves, we hold ourselves accountable to treating them like they deserve.

The attributes of a new day

There is an excitement to each new thing because of it’s newness. It’s why we buy notebooks even when we aren’t done the last one(s), why wearing something new is fun even when it’s uncomfortable, and why even folding the laundry can be therapeutic. It’s the daring nature of buying anything white: maybe I won’t stain this and remember to wash it only with other whites! In reality, no. That’s likely not going to happen, we are too forgetful and clumsy. However, that’s the key word: likely

It’s clean, hygenic, in fashion; it’s new. The newness that we like to surround ourselves with makes us hopeful. The odds might be heavily stacked again’t us, but being in something new has a special hope that isn’t as salient the older a thing gets. Birth, weddings, some of our most important days revolve around our beginnings because at that point, we haven’t messed it up yet. Overtime, things get worn and we get used to them. They aren’t new and so we don’t care if we spill something on them. We’ve already broken our ideal version of them, and now we just live like we normally do.

The only difference between our opinions when things are new and when they aren’t is that we have enough experience to know how things will likely turn out and we’ve made our peace with it. However, we need to fight a bit more. We need to keep a few things new in our heart, and keep our hopes up, and work to fulfill all they can be. It’s alright to get used to a pair of shoes, but we shouldn’t be so ready to take our lives and relationships for granted. Today is a good day. It’s a new day.