don’t feel bad about feeling bad

Chet Baker singing “I Fall In Love Too Easily” is one of the smoothest, purest, and delightful experiences I have ever had in my life. Good music is just something that makes me happy, and I think it’s a fair assumption to say other people typically feel the same. There’s just something beautiful about when a song hits you “right in the feels”.

But as magical as songs can be, real life seems to match it with ugly construction sounds. There are moments when we are socially suave, where we fit, and there are also moments that are painfully awkward. We realize things are a balance of the good and bad, but it doesn’t make the bad feel less horrid.

Here’s a fun little challenge: don’t feel bad about feeling bad. When we start pathologizing our own emotions, it can lead us down tricky roads. Maybe your mental state is unhealthy and should be treated, but even if you think you can diagnose something on your own, don’t treat it on your own.

It often comes down to, if you need help, get help. If you are unsure, ask. Even the rarest conditions, the ones where truly no one feels and experiences the same thing as you, have some semblance to something else.

This applies broadly to mental health, of course, but also to the little things, and for the people who think there’s completely fine. If you feel something, you feel it for a reason. It may be irrational, it may be nonsensical, but it’s how you feel. Emotions change and will change, but often the hard part is allowing yourself to feel the way you do, and subsequently forgiving yourself. Feelings do not equal actions. They are related, but they are still separable.

Your actions are your own. If you know something is wrong, if you know that you’re in a tempting place, physically get yourself out of the situation. Take a walk. Listen to some good music.

When we feel emotions, they can take us over. We can feel so engrossed in our own experiences that we forget we’ve felt other things. But we have, and we will.

on loving yourself in little ways on little days

Today is a day just like any other. Statistically speaking, it’s an average day. But what is absolutely amazing is the fact that the Present never stops. It’s never Not the present. It is always today, which means that we always have the opportunity to take action. That’s something spectacular, because it means we have the ability to make choices.

We have an undeniable skill at making excuses and limitations for ourselves as humans. And part of the reason is that, as humans, we need limitations. We need boundaries so we know where to put in our effort. We care about what other people think because we have to get along with other people to survive to the best of our ability. We need to fulfill our duties at work and/or school in order to tell people know we are trustworthy and reliable in the future. We need to complete our various goals, even pushing through the boring parts because it allows us to be confident in our abilities and build our character.

There are plenty of reasons to do all of these things, but those examples above are just to illustrate the fact that there is a reason to have and care about our responsibilities. The thing we tend to forget and also the thing we need to remember is that we have freedom outside of that. If we want to use an extra two dollars to buy a overpriced drink we love, we can. If we want to stay up late drawing different kinds of pumpkins, we can. If we want to keep up with the styles and be basic, that’s up to us. These are silly things to think about as ‘freedom’, but we place an extra layer of expectation upon ourselves at times when we think something is too nonsensical. We’re more emotionally driven than we think, and that’s okay, but if it’s better to bend to the emotion of joy than that of fear for simple things that will do us no harm. Do those little things you love for yourself, because life is too short to not!