little weights and balance

There is a balance between being patient with yourself, and encouraging yourself to actually get things done.

Oftentimes we have to treat ourselves like small children. We have to reward ourselves with snacks, set time apart for naps, make sure our schedule is in line. Things become messy when we realize the person who will reward us is usually us. It’s easy to be our child-self, far more difficult to convince ourselves to be adults.

Being an adult seems like its own world when you’re a child. It is a set of concepts we associate with responsibility and personal power: opening accounts, setting a budget, going grocery shopping, going to work, etc. It seems foreign to those who haven’t done it, terrifying, really.

But it’s a challenge like every other we face. We learn things one by one. We walk to a place, we fill out a form, and we ask questions when we aren’t sure.

Being “adult” is more or less scary to different individuals, but the same idea holds for a lot of things. Fundamentally, we build things up in our head. We make mole hills into mountains and that makes the prospect of climbing them far more difficult. No matter how complicated a task, we break it down into simpler steps. No matter how important a decision is, the moments leading up help give us the necessary information.

So be patient with yourself on the little things, but get those little things done. All of the huge weights we create are an accumulation of little bits we can handle.

stuff those feelings back where they came from, or so help me-!

Logically, you can know that A is A, and B is B. In your head, you know certain facts and can truly believe them. Reason can tell you it wasn’t your fault, or that it doesn’t matter. However, sometimes the emotions don’t fit. We want to move on and yet our hearts don’t want to go along with it.

Emotions are hard to handle. They surround us in a medium of our existence. They guide us more than we would sometimes like to admit. However, a basic part of being a human is dealing with and expressing feelings. When we don’t talk about how we feel, it tends to get clogged up inside of us. Making a habit of stuffing things down inside of us makes us get stuck on what to say when we really do need to express ourselves. Communication is a skill after all! And practice is the key to any skill. Not dealing with emotions is like being an emotional couch-potato: very unhealthy in the long run.

Even we know what we need to do logically, we can still get stuck on the feeling parts of things. Ignoring the emotions or trying to kill them off somehow doesn’t fix things; if anything, it makes them stronger. Instead, if we want to move past things, we need to face them. We need to admit to ourselves our faults and our current state of mind. It’s hard, and it’s not easy to even know what to do once you’ve acknowledged it. Still, it’s a necessary step to moving past things.