risks and ladders

Honestly, it doesn’t matter if you haven’t done what you want yet. It doesn’t matter if you’re a wreck right now. It doesn’t matter, because it’s not the end. Every moment doesn’t feel like a new chance, but it is. Most of the time, the bars and limits we have are those we put on ourselves. If you want to do something more, you can achieve that.

It’s easy to think that couldn’t be the case. We think that if we want to go see a new movie in theaters, we have to go with friends. You don’t, you could go yourself. We think we can’t switch careers, because we wouldn’t even know where to start. Fine, you don’t know where to start, but knowing that means your first step is finding out what the steps are. We think that if we don’t stay or become a certain way, we’ll be alone forever. Surely, there is an importance to listening to what others have to say and heeding their advice, but at the end of the day, there is a line between listening to others and letting them rule your life.

Everything to this point matters in that it has built you up into who you are right now, but that doesn’t mean you have to play your hand out exactly like it’s expected. We are in a processing of growing, and its going to take a while to get to where we want to go. It’s terrifying to abruptly change, and there are many things that seem way beyond us– and that’s okay! Changing overnight is a difficult and natural thing. What is good is teaching yourself, step by step, to creep towards those goals of yours, pushing what’s comfortable for you. This moment is a chance. This moment too. If you don’t take it now, seriously ask yourself if you ever will.

what’s your relationship status with your goals?

It’s hard to balance the lessons of “It’s always greener on the other side!” and “Go out and get what you want!” . The bottom line is that things will always be better, there will always be ways to improve. AKA, sometimes life is going to suck. The real question is how much of that are you willing to accept? On one hand, have high standards! Achieve big things! But on the other, don’t drive yourself insane chasing Moby Dick.

The relationship we have with our goals is an important one, but one we don’t always consider. You don’t want to be in an abusive relationship ever– but also don’t be in one with your aspirations. Your dreams and goals are that, goals: targets to aim for and work for. If you beat yourself up because it doesn’t turn out precisely how you want, you’re harming yourself for no reason. If you really love it, you’ll try again and see if you can make it work out. If you can’t for some reason, than that’s okay. Your worth and your value are not dependent on how much you achieve, even if that’s how it feels. Rather, see it for what it is; You still took the shot and tried your best, and that means something. Your goals aren’t your entire identity.

The other common relationship we have with our goals is a casual one. In this scenario, you have big dreams! But then you don’t follow up on them. For whatever reason, you don’t take any steps to achieving it, or you don’t put in enough effort. If you’re being honest with yourself, in this scenario, you aren’t trying your best. Your goals are more, “It would be cool if…”, rather than, “I want to work hard to get ….”. In this situation, you say you care, and you think you care, but your actions say otherwise. Have all the dreams you want, but it means nothing until you do something with it!

We need to care about where we’re going and what we’re chasing down. The key is to look at your relationship with your goals. Do you act on your goals, consistently and to the best of your effort? If not, consider if it’s really a priority to you in the first place. Do you feel your goal is the entirety of your being, and preoccupies every aspect of your day? You might be a little too into your dream. We are complex beings, and we need variety! We need to be able to spend time with people, relax, stretch our minds– It’s good to have a purpose, but that’s not the only thing that matters.


the meaning of dreams

There’s no physical thing we can see in our dreams that truly, deeply, symbolizes one thing for all people. Psychologists once thought dreams were some magical, untouchable entity that reveals something deep about us. However, dreams are only as symbolic as every day waking thought. Seeing a crow doesn’t mean you’ll die. Still, it would be wrong to ignore them in full.

While some theories suggest dreams are solely random firings in the brain, nonsense that our minds then try and fix, there does appear to be a pattern within the content of our dreams. We tend to take the emotions of our current state, novel situations, and salient peices of our lives and incorporate them. We use dreams, in part, to figure things out, emotionally and also sometimes situationally. There isn’t direct evidence for “if you see a crow, you’re going to die”, but if you live in a culture where crows represent death and you are especially fearing for someone’s life, there is a good chance you might see one. The bottom line is that dreams aren’t as magical as we want them to be, but that doesn’t mean they are pointless, or that we can’t learn anything from them. Our dreams bring together different aspects of ourselves without the inhibitions of much of our normal thoughts. That is something that is powerful. 

Life is a lot like dreams. We think of it as something big and limitless, with amazing amounts of power. And it does have power, just not in the way we originally thought. Most things in life don’t fall into your lap, and many things aren’t entirely clear. Life isn’t magical in that you cast some spell and everything is fixed; it’s trial and error. However, to underestimate that is to miss out on living to your fullest potential. If everything was the way we wanted it, we wouldn’t want it. Dreams are amazing, and so are you if you remind yourself to use what you have.

Go out and face those volcanos

One of my favorite movies, perhaps my most favorite, is a ridiculous, campy heavy handed masterpiece called “Joe versus Volcano”. It stars Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, with Meg in three seperate roles and special effects arguably worse than Power Rangers. Tom Hanks is a miserable man who finds out he has a “brain cloud” and will die in six months, so he makes a deal with some corporate quack to jump into a volcano as a human sacrifice. One of my favorite parts of the movie is how absolutely stuffed with symbolism it is, but the most important part is the message, and it’s ridiculous, an absolute bonkers lesson that means a lot.

You only live life once. Every second of life doesn’t have to be exciting and interesting, we all have little odds and ends that need to be tolerated, but we shouldn’t just be “tolerating” our entire lives. We need to be starry-eyed a bit, just a little, and ask ourselves what our dreams are, our goals. We are never too young or too old to accomplish things. What things we accomplish vary, but we are always more capable than we think.

Everyday life isn’t stunning, it’s not usually all that fun either. What it can be, however, is up to us. We can talk to others, listen to our favorite music, clean up to de-stress, and really live. Chasing after your dreams is hard, but the hardest part is keeping that dream alive enough every dreamy to chase it every day. Relationships take work, careers take work, even relaxation takes some work, but putting in the effort is worth it. You can do this. Watch a ridiculous movie every once in a while, remember to get excited about this stupid, little things, because that’s sometimes the best part about it.