We often think of people in two disctinctions: attractive and ugly. However, the more we learn about aesthetic preference, the more we see how beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Two strangers, on average, will only agree on what is attractive about 50% of the time. Furthermore, our huge disparities in preference don’t arise from genetics, but mostly our environment. Even world famous models, praised for their looks, still receive negative feedback on their appearance because of people’s variance in opinion. There are some people who are always going to be seen as incredibly attractive, but for the most part, our appearance doesn’t fall into a binary so easily.
Mentally, humans simplify situations in order to understand them quickly. A friend talks to you for an hour about a complicated relationship, and you can sum it up in, “what a jerk!”, or perhaps other choice words. It’s our habit, in order to compile lots of information. However, there are a few things that we need to be careful to not oversimplify. One of those is identity, of ourselves and others.
Everyone is a work in progress. Everyone can be considered attractive, even if you don’t personally agree with another’s opinion. Respect is an incredibly important thing to have, for both yourself and others because it’s how we carry ourselves in our interactions. If you ignore someone’s opinion because you don’t like it, you might miss out on that tiny piece of truth you can learn from. Nor should we ignore ourselves. If we are miserable and don’t see the point of it, we are wasting our time, and we only have so much of it. So don’t oversimplify the important things and be respectful. And P.S. the more kind we are, the more likely we are to become more attractive to other’s over time.