exercise videos and trying not to cry

It hurts. That’s the worst part about working out, for all of it’s benefits. I’ve known people who run for miles and miles and it’s incredible. So incredible that many times I’m tempted to try and sweep their shelves for some mystery drug. For me, working out equals psychological water torture, see how far I can go. Sports movies are boring and I don’t particularly care for them, partly because I don’t like sports, and partly because it’s so different from the real experience.  I, like any other person, greatly enjoy training montages in movies. The director adds a dramatic “You Can Do This!” musical theme, a few short clips of effort, and then the protagonist has achieved some leveled up version of themselves. It take 30 seconds, a minute tops. In real life however, we are given something else: a chance to actually change.

Life isn’t flashy as we like it to be. Who we are isn’t some big event, but an accumulation of all the little events. There isn’t one day we decide to not pursue our dreams. It’s a result. Say you want to become a master cellist; the first step to giving up is when you decide to not practice that hard piece ten times. You practice it five times instead of ten. That in itself isn’t all that important, but today you do five instead of ten, the next you do three instead of five, the next you don’t practice it at all, and then suddenly you need to play it perfectly for some concert. And you can’t. Even that doesn’t stop your dreams, but it forms a foothold. Now you’ve got it in your head you can’t play perfectly. You try and put in a lot of effort, but you’ve gotten used to giving up, and you fall back into it: that process of thought in which, “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway”, even though it does, and  you quit striving for your dream. Over and over again, we have a habit of dismissing our own values. You figure, “If I’m really passionate about it, then it would mean more and I’d put more effort in”. The justification works as a good defense mechanism for guilt, but it’s fallible.

We all have proclivities to this and that, minute inklings that draw us in, but it’s not enough. You care about something you put your time and efforts into it. The more effort you put in, the more passion you get out of it. We all have relationships that have ended simply because you ‘drifted apart’. The relationship was real and held meaning; it drifted because you stopped putting in the time. For relationships, it can be a healthy process that helps people move on. But who are You? What do you want? What is your passion? If you don’t know, then what do you want to be passionate about? The bottom line is this: put in the legwork and you’ll find yourself attached in the long run.

Or maybe you do know what you want, but you can’t seem to motivate yourself to do it. You know you want to be fit, you have your goal, but you are failing anyways. To you, I say this: figure it out. Growing hurts. If it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth it. So don’t procrastinate, and seize the moment. Put in place things that will help you remember to do what you need to do. I hate exercising, I really do, but you don’t have to enjoy it. America tends to overvalue happiness, but if you make a temporary feeling the end goal, you lose out on the more valuable things. Sure, eat a piece of cake every now and then, but keep focused, you are going to be so great! You got this. You are strong.

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